all i ask is a tall ship...

washington mutual is a terrible bank. they'd be really great if the overdraft fees weren't $35. i have e-mail alerts to tell me when my account is getting low, but the problem is that they come at 2AM. so if i go into the bank and deposit the money later that day, they won't get rid of the overdraft fees because it shows up as the day before. so really, the "same day" benefit is a fucking scam.

fuck banks.

i'm $200 in the hole because of a few transactions that were like five bucks each.

so fuck them, i'll put money in my account when i FEEL like, mofucka.

good thing i don't have direct deposit or i couldn't pay rent till like next month.


DIE BITCH.

i liked it. i liked it alot.

we saw it at the alamo late last night after that awesome storm subdued. seth rogen is adorable, and he and his stoned croonies have some hilarious scenes. the great thing is, they're all best friends in real life. i think the best parts were with paul rudd and rogen, especially when they go to vegas and see cirque de soleil on shrooms. the movie had elements of 40 year-old virgin, but wasn't half as ridiculous (and maybe not quite as funny). all in all, though, go see it at the alamo and have a few beers. it will be a great evening.

Jay: I'm going to be there to rear your child.
Jason: You hear that, Ben? Don't let him near the kid, he wants to rear your child.

see? i'm not crazy.



tonight is the southern hospitality party. i'm excited because chris from work actually WANTED to open for me tomorrow morning. so i don't have to get up at 4AM. SWEET.

also, i'm going down to washington mutual right now because the bastards gave me an overdraft fee and they better fucking take it back after i deposit some money in my account. UGH BANKS.

oh my god.

oh my god.

oh my god.

I SPENT FUCKING EIGHT DOLLARS ON A TICKET AND ANOTHER TEN DOLLARS ON PEANUT M&M'S AND A COKE.

I HADN'T SLEPT IN 24 HOURS.

THREE HOURS LATER I HAD A HEADACHE THE SIZE OF THE BLACK PEARL AND NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT THAT MOVIE WAS ABOUT.

ten minutes into the film i knew i had made a massive mistake dragging my mom, my sister, and dylan and his family to see pirates at 9:15 PM last night.

there were at least seven instances when dylan and i turned to each other at the same time in complete, utter confusion and horror as the film twisted and pulled and dropped plot lines and picked up new ones like a tornado on acid.

i have never been so disappointed or felt more intellectually above the entirety of the audience around me. they laughed at every single age-old, recycled, poorly done comedic gimic that was stolen from geniuses and pathetically played out. for a country that gets all of its information and culture from television, the audience last night certainly knows nothing of comedic or cinematic history, let alone the basics of storytelling. i could almost pinpoint exactly the next line or the next plot twist gone horribly wrong.

OH MY GOD. CALYPSO'S HUMAN FORM IS ONE OF THE WOMEN ON THE SHIP? CERTAINLY IT IS NOT THE FIERY, SENSUAL JAMAICAN WITH A DEEP LOVE FOR THE OCEAN AND AN ABILITY TO COMMUNICATE WITH CRABS!

IT MUST BE THE SKINNY, HALF-BRAINED BRIT WITH NO SENSE OF INTELLIGENCE, ACTING ABILITY, COMEDIC TIMING, OR SCREEN PRESENCE!

fuck. fuck me.

why, why did they abandon countless interesting stories and relationships that could have been played out in the movie just so that the monkey shooting out of a canon could have more screen time?

i don't understand hollywood or bruckheimer, but i shouldn't have expected anything more. there was way too much, and not nearly enough.

one thing though. i was extremely pleased with the ending. the VERY ending which took place after all the credits had gone up.

>>>>SPOILER ALERT<<<<

will comes back after ten years and knightley is waiting on a distant shore with his ten year old son. and i realized, balls, they only get to spend about five or six days together in their entire lifetime. and that made me happy.

this is what i need to clean my new earrings:




this is what we had in the freezer:




will said it would work just as well. but my left ear is a little puffy. we shall see.

LOST TONIGHT. BETTER BE THERE MOTHERFUCKERS.

what kind of bear is best? BLACK BEAR.

BEARS EAT BEETS.

BEARS BEAT BATTLESTAR GALACTICA.



now watch this.

this show is kick ass.

today at work, joanna said my voice reminded her of parker pos(e?)y. i've been given many compliments about my voice before, but no one has ever said i sounded like any one in particular. and i love parker pos(e?)y. is it posy or posey? or pussy or cozy. i have no clue.

i hope everyone had a good day today.

since high school i vowed never to venture beyond the conventional realms of e-mail and instant messenger. never, said i, never would i be the proud owner of a myspace or, god forbid, a xanga.


last year i cracked. facebook was the first. the mundane, useless facebook.


myspace entered my life earlier this year. it makes me feel like an adolescent again, hip, all the rage, right when i've turned twenty.


livejournal i joined because everyone in my house has one. including pirate.


so in honor of my first, and probably last, livejournal post, i thought i might establish a positive note, an optimistic and refreshing outlook.






but i will never, ever own a xanga.